I just had a phone call that went something like: Receptionist: Hello, Paddington medical centre Me: Hi, I’d like to make dental appointment with John McKenny. Receptionist: A dental appointment? Me: Yes. Receptionist: I’m sorry but John McKenny is a natropath who used to work here. We don’t have any dentists. Me: Hmmm, I think Medibank Private have stuffed up their records somehow then. I think it’s probably best if I don’t let Mr McKenny near my teeth. Receptionist: That’s probably a good idea.

• • *Mental note: Find a better health insurance fund.